The Masculine/Feminine Dance

What is your true essence?

Are you deeply masculine or truly feminine?

All of us contain some of both. It can be hard to determine our true essence even for ourselves sometimes. At different times in our day we need to utilize either masculine or feminine energy depending on the people we are interacting with and the circumstances we find ourselves in.

After all, women have had to learn to live in a masculine world. Many must take on masculine qualities to be successful and independent in today's world where those qualities are required. In contrast, men have had to learn to get in touch with their feminine selves to adapt to a changing world and are often then accused and appear to be, weak, immature and therefore "unsafe" as potential partners.

At their core, many women still seem to long for a strong assertive male who will protect and care for them no matter how capable they may be. Many men now find themselves longing to reconnect with their own true masculine energy. Such is the state we find ourselves in today that both sexes unconsciously, at least occasionally wear masks to hide their true sexual essence in order to adapt and cope with life.

Ask yourself, is it more important for me to feel "deeply loved" or "deeply free?" We all want and strive for both don't we, but unless you are equally balanced in masculine and feminine energies, which is rare, one will usually mean much more to you than the other.

A person with more masculine essence will long for "freedom" in some way. This will often take the form of some kind of success. It could be economic, professional, artistic or musical success but the drive towards some kind of external goal is a masculine thing.

A person more feminine in essence will have a strong need to feel "deeply loved". The never ending question will be "Do you love me?" When she feels loved, her life will be blissful. When she senses her partner giving less than his full love, her world will collapse and she will either leave or unwittingly create chaos and drama until she fulfils her primary drive of feeling loved. These issues will dominate her inner life regardless of her level of personal success.

The thing that a woman really needs to understand to move past this cycle, is that at her core, Love is already who she is! Once this is known at the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels, it is possible to finally let go of this aspect of feminine nature and enjoy the masculine/feminine dance of life, all the time recognising that her deepest need is already met. A woman can then relax into her own essence and live a life of joy. With or without a partner.

For those of us with more masculine essence (and this can be man/woman, straight or gay) the never ending drive is towards being "free" in some way. Free from pain, free from fear, free from money problems, free from restrictions, always striving towards freedom and reaching your goals and dreams. This could be achieving a business endeavour, a career, a marriage, or a way of life.

This energetic pattern is what drives your life force and once a goal is met, a new one will quickly replace it in a never ending and exhausting treadmill of effort. No wonder so many people wind up feeling tired, trapped and disillusioned. The masculine in us strives to be aligned with a deep sense of purpose or mission and is ongoing. Always thinking that once a mission is achieved, you can rest and be happy. You will often become so focussed on your goal and so caught up in "doing" that literally days, weeks and years will go by unnoticed eating up large chunks of your life. This can be intensely frustrating and hurtful to the more feminine partner who has no full understanding of what's going on.

If you are someone with more masculine essence remember; regardless of what you do with your life or how much money, status or wealth you accumulate, life is short. Briefly intense, then gone. The business of putting your business, your relationship or your artistic career together seems so important. And always there's the question in the back of your mind. Am I succeeding? Am I failing? Always waiting for that moment to come when you will be and have enough and you can finally rest and be peaceful living the life you dream of.

The ultimate reality for those of us with more masculine essence, is that nothing will make a difference at this point in your life or at any further point in your life, until you come to see that your true self is already whole and free. Once you truly accept this, the urge to strive is no longer fuelled by fear and can become a blessing instead of a curse, properly in balance with the rest of your life.

You can be the most successful man in the world or the most loved and admired woman in the world but until you can feel beneath the surface of your mind and emotions to your true core essence (the "Self" or "I AM" presence beyond the identity you've created) you will be trapped.

Know this inner presence completely and the tension between the masculine and feminine energies within you (and between you and others) will fall away. In our essential consciousness we are neither male nor female. As Jesus said in the Gospel according to Thomas, "When you make the male and female into a single one...then you shall enter the Kingdom." *

We don't yet know what human consciousness looks like in a fully balanced man or woman but we are beginning to invite that potential. This process involves facing our untamed emotions without looking to another for their cause. If we persevere, we just might find a profoundly beautiful and transformative love.

We cannot build strong relationships if we start from a place of fearfulness or unmet needs. This creates a climate where we unconsciously try to take what we lack from our partner and they will eventually resent it. Not being able to rest in your true Self means living without a foundation.

Relationship is at the heart of how we grow, Through relationship we can choose to discover our potential and find spiritual maturity and wisdom. We can reach for a love based on far more than need. This kind of unconditional love for ourselves and others accepts all weaknesses and suffering yet profoundly heals and provides greater aliveness.

The underlying "I AM" presence at our core is our unlimited potential, our holographic piece of God and Self and the part that connects us all, capable of overcoming all our differences and holding and healing even the most devastating of life experiences.

Kristen Jones

Notes

* The Gospel of Thomas was found in 1945 in a buried wine jar (much like the dead sea scrolls) in upper Egypt near a small Arab village called Nag Hamada. It is written on parchment in Sahidic Coptic, the last remaining language still close to the extinct Egyptian pharanoiac language. It predates the Gospels and was the first time scholars could work off words attributed directly to Jesus untampered with by the religious/political forces of the time that the bible itself was subjected to. It contains a collection of 114 sayings or "logia" which are described in the document as the naked words of Jesus. It reflects the view that the integration of masculine and feminine polarities along with a recognition of the true self within is the way forward to achieving unlimited consciousness. These concepts, which Jesus clearly taught and which were well understood by the early christian Gnostics are largely lost from the bible and therefore western religion because they didn't sit well with the Jewish leaders of the time or the proponents of the new emerging Christianity.

** Definition of "Gnostic"
A current of religious doctrine that flourished in the early centuries of the Christian era but were condemned as "heresy" in a movement spearheaded in the second century by the bishop of Lyons. The result was the widespread suppression and destruction of texts containing these doctrines. The historical significance of the Nag Hammadi discovery is that these manuscripts were probably buried in an effort to preserve them from the ecclesiastical cleansing process of these ideas at the time. The gospel of Thomas was translated into English and published for the first time in 1959 and was the first time, after nearly 2000 years, that people had the chance to look directly at these teachings.