The Seven Popular Lies About Sex

You cannot do without it.

This, perhaps, is the most persisting and insidious falsehood about sex. Granted that our bodies are wired with so much sensations of sexual nature, it does not mean that a man or a woman cannot do without sexual intercourse to the point that it is pursued by many as if it is the object of our existence. Sexuality like many of the several sensibilities inherent in man is an aspect. Like many other things connected with human existence, sexual intimacies have a place and time. Only animals can obtain their sexual gratifications with little protocol. For man, even the places on and in our bodies where our sexual organs are situated clearly speak of discretion and decorum in all sexual transactions. There are also natural and man-made laws that point to the fact that sex is not an all-comer's affairs. It is, therefore, a lie that one cannot do without sex. We can and should do without sex until we have fulfilled all the laws and respects requisite to the legal and moral obtaining of sexual relationship. Before that point, it is not whether one can or cannot do without sex; it is that we must do without sex. Sexual relationship between a man and a woman, legally and lawfully wedded is appropriate for procreation and companionship. In other words, there is responsibility attached to sexual relationship. So, unless one is really ready in every sense of the word to take the responsibility, including fulfilling legal and moral obligations, pregnancy, rearing children, emotional trepidation, then one has to without sex.

In a legal and lawful marriage, one has to go without sex during a stage in pregnancy, sickness or family turmoil.

Discipline, a critical character trait call on man to do without sex until it is appropriate. Disregarding this element would remove human from man and reduce him or her to the level of dogs.

Makes you healthy.

There are lots of reports from researchers that speak pervasively about the health benefits of sex. Granted that there are some truths in this, it is, however, one side of the coin - half truth. Because of the emotional connection required to have wholesome sex, all sex outside wedlock create anxiety which is an antithesis to health. Secondly, diseases including fatal and debilitating ones are preeminently spread through or issue from sexual intercourse. Yes, sex may make you healthy, but would in more chances than not cause you sickness and death.

Prepares you for marriage.

The argument for this point is that it would help marriage partners if they have some sexual experience before they marry. In this, it is hoped that they would be able to manage the numerous sexual challenges common in marriage. Nothing could be further from the truth in this case. There are certain social issues that impact on the marriage relationship that premarital sex destroys. These are trust and respect. Trust and respect are some of the fundamental elements of the foundation for joyful relationships. It is the tendency in men and women that if you gave or received sexual favours to or from them, they draw a conclusion of distrust about you and they hardly ever speak out this grudge. The only time such would be voiced is when there is problem in the marriage and they start meeting with counselors or coaches, then, they may voice the bottled up resentment. Many marriage relationships are shattered by lack of respect for one's spouse. This is the root cause we have found in many spouse abuse cases. It stems largely from the fact that one or both marriage partners lack respect for the other. You cannot really prepare for marriage without trust and respect for one another. So premarital sex does not prepare you for marriage, it destroys your preparation for marriage.

It is the only proof of love.

This is by far the most insulting connection to love that sex would have. You do not need love to get sex. You do not need sex to get love. Many beautiful relationships have been destroyed by premarital sex. If you love me, you will wait for me, sang Sunny Ade and Onyeka Onwenu, in that public announcement sponsored by the Nigerian government to promote the need to avoid premarital sex. Many a young woman have been deceived by this line and lost their virtue and brought pain and anguish on their own souls. Sexual impulses has no origins from love. It is just a feeling that grows naturally in all animals in the presence of the opposite gender. It is designed to invite all animals to the duty of procreation.

By the way, what is love in the sex with mad men and women? What is love in sex with under-aged children? What is love in rape and even date-rapes? Those who run the lie about sex being the only proof of love, why did you jilt or leave the girl or woman after having sexual intercourse with her for once or for several years? Girls, women, why did he leave you after sexual intercourse that was supposed to seal your love deal as proof? Girls and women, why don't you tell your younger sisters, friends and children so that they would not fall for this crap men are always peddling?

Used to keep one's lover.

How many of you have truly kept your lover with all the sexual intercourses you have had with him or her? Why did he leave after all? Why did she leave after all? Love is sustained by duty, sacrifice and service that has nothing to do with sexual intercourse. Many relationships have been burried in spite of the great sex happening in it.

I will stop after one more time.

Sex is an addictive experience. You can only stop if you have not started. Once you start, you cannot stop. That is why the only recompense to the sin of immorality is to get married.

You can play safe.

The only safe sex is no sex. Get involved and you are involved. The saying that there is always a price tag seem to be more preeminently true in sexual intercourse. The result is wont to come out sooner than later - unwanted pregnancy, disease, anxiety, loss of respect and honour and distrust in the relationship.

Francis Nmeribe helps people who desire a joyful relationship in their dating, courtship and marriage relationships. He is the author of numerous great relationship and personal development articles and books including - "Foundation For Joyful Relationships", "Wrong Reasons For Getting Married", "Growing From Your Experiences", "Action Quotes".