How to Communicate With Men Who Aren't Emotionally Available - Ladies This is For You

He's speaking English. But he's still not making any sense. If you're a woman trying to communicate with an emotionally unavailable man, it can seem like you're speaking a totally different language. The question becomes how to communicate with men who aren't emotionally available. Is there a trick?

The truth is, most men aren't emotionally available to a large extent. Don't hold it against them. It's not their fault. It's just the way men are conditioned to be.

Men grow up being taught to hold their emotions inside. They're taught to be strong, walk it off, don't cry, be tough, don't be a sissy, etc. It's no wonder men get incredibly uncomfortable anytime emotions come into question - by anyone. Men simply aren't able to access their emotions and express them the way women are. They simply don't know how.

With that being the case, how do you communicate with men so they understand your feelings and, at the same time, can express their own to you? After all, no relationship can last if two people don't know what each other needs and wants.

In her book, "Men Made Easy", nationally recognized relationship expert, Kara Oh, states, "Most men have limited access to their feelings and when they do get emotional, they generally want to be alone." Men don't like to share their emotions because it opens them up and makes them feel vulnerable. They generally tend to push their feelings aside and ignore them by putting their attention on something else.

If you want to know how to communicate with men who aren't emotionally available, try expressing yourself in a more logical way. Men are problem solvers. Emotions confuse them because they see them as a problem, but don't really understand them so it leaves them feeling somewhat helpless.

If you can explain your feelings in a more logical way and then let your man know whether or not you need help in solving a problem, then he will be able to relate in a much more understanding and supportive way.

Also, when you communicate with your man, be more straightforward and don't go into all the little details that you might normally discuss with your girlfriends. Men are most interested in the bottom line.

It's also important to remember that men take words literally. If you're trying to talk to an emotionally unavailable man about how you feel in your relationship, then avoid words like "never" and "always". For example, do you have the habit of saying something like, "You never listen to me when I need to talk." How about, "You never tell me you love me."

When a man hears a word such as "never", he thinks it means just that. It hurts because in his mind it totally discounts the times when he does say that he loves you or when he does take time out to listen when you need to talk.

Never tell a man who is emotionally unavailable, "We need to talk." Few phrases strike instant fear into a man the way that one does. It will immediately put up a wall and make it more difficult for him to both listen and open up to you.