Guilt Or Love

Have you ever heard the expression if you loved me you would do "blank". What's that all about anyway, if only you loved me you would buy me the Empire State building, work harder so I can be happier, learn to be a better father and husband, take care of your children so I can have a much needed day off. Okay I might be getting a little carried away here with some of the stuff my ex wife used to tell me.

Why do these people need to guilt someone into doing something. Instead of, if you love me let's go to the opposite direction and used the phrase, "You Don't Love Me Otherwise You Would Do Blank." Let's get to the bottom of this and find out who taught us to feel guilty, our parents, friends, religions and of course our greatest teachers of all, the masters at guilt are schoolteachers. My teachers were masters at making undisciplined children feel completely useless while the gifted students most of the time enjoyed a guiltless relationship with the teacher.

As long as you were doing what you were told at home your mother would have no need to lay the guilt trip on you. If you don't do what you are told you are going to be in trouble, don't even think about doing that or you're going to get a spanking when your father gets home. The classic abdication of responsibility. What about this classic from your parents, if you do something correctly I will gladly reward you with some cash.

Now how can this be guilt if someone is going to reward me with some cash. Guilt is basically the fear of being punished and the minute someone offers to reward you for something pleasant you have done or are about to do or something they don't want you to do, this is fear based guilt in its purest essence. If you do something in order to expect a reward and you do not accomplish the task, you feel guilty. You feel like you let someone down and there's a very good chance the people that were going to reward you are going to let you know that you failed and you will not be rewarded.

What a wonderful explanation for loving someone with guilt. We only use guilt because we have no other skills for communicating or getting our point across. As long as the people we seem to care about most remain guilt ridden we can manipulate them. I've known people that are simply masters at using their guilt skills. These people subconsciously submit subliminal messages into the minds of their loved ones about guilt. They don't even realize the damage they are doing because this is the only way they know how to show their love and to be loved.

These people need to feel love from other people and guilt of course provides the fear necessary for the dependent person to show their love to the guilt master. This article was written to inform those people that use guilt unknowingly or deliberately, to stop damaging the people they care about and think about the possibility of going to pick up a book on developing your communication skills.

I was actually thinking about making the readers of this article feel guilty in order to read it. What would the title have been, If You Don't Read This You Are a Loser, Reading Creates Winners, Find out What Everyone Is Talking About, Is Your Wife the Problem with Your Relationship, You Should Have Listened to Your Mom, okay that's enough of these crappy titles. I wasn't going to use any guilt but if you need someone to throw a little guilt into your life go pick up the the best selling book in history, The Holy Bible. There should be enough guilt in there to keep you reading for a long time.