Why Won't He Say I Love You?

On a second date with a woman I was surprised that she decided to ask me the most difficult question that you could ask a man. She asked "Do you love me?" I paused for a moment to figure out what I was going to say. Do I lie and say yes? or do I tell the truth and say no, is this a loaded question with no correct answer I was thinking?

I collected my thoughts and said "I don't know yet, this is only our second date". This came from my heart and was the truth, I could not possibly tell a woman on the second date whether I love her or not. Asking me just creeped me out completely and put me in an awkward position, where I did not know what to say. Her manner just completely changed when I gave my reply, all of a sudden she just went into a stroppy mood. In the end she just ended up walking out. I thought maybe she just wanted a way to end the date, so she decided to sabotage it. This idea was thrown out the window a few weeks later, when she contacted me again and said she would give it another go. As if I had done something wrong by telling her the truth and she was giving me a second chance.

So why did I have so much difficulty saying the words "I love you"? Well first of all I would have been lying, second of all she was asking me far too soon, after just two dates. Most important of all to a man it would have signalled a new era in the relationship where you move from dating to an extreme closeness where both of you have to contact each other everyday and know what each other is doing. I would not have had a problem saying the words I love you, if I meant it, if we were in an established relationship and if I was prepared to move the relationship onto the next stage.

In General though, men hate the words "I love you", men hate emotional stuff!

There are men that will say "I love you" just to please you, when they don't mean it.

There are men that will say "I love you" and mean it.

There are men that won't say "I love you" because they can't say it with meaning.

There are men that won't say "I love you" because they find it too difficult to say those words.

All men will particularly hate saying the words "I love you" in front of their male friends. Men hate emotional things and by saying it in front of their friends it makes them look and sound like a wimp and means their friends will be making fun of them up until the point where your relationship has ended.

My advice: don't ask him too early on in the relationship whether he loves you. Men who really are in love with you, will usually pluck up the courage to say it to you eventually anyway, when they feel right saying it and when they are not with their friends or in a public place. Most men find it difficult to express emotional stuff, so don't make it even more difficult for him. They won't be saying those words because they enjoy saying them, they will be saying them because they want to please you.

If he says that he can't answer that yet, at least he is being honest. He does not want to say "I love you" because he is confused and because he thinks he won't mean it. At least if he says "I love you" in the future you know he means it!

To women "I love you" are powerful words, to a man, it is just boring emotional stuff, that he prefers not to deal with, but he has to say "I love you" to satisfy a woman's needs.