Do You Breakup to Make Up? Stop The Cycle And Stay Together For Good!

One of my favorite 70s Soul Groups, the Stylistics had a top 5 hit record with a song entitled " Break Up to Make Up". The words go like this...

Breakup to Makeup that's all we do, first you love me, then you hate me, it's a game for fools.

The song tells of a man really confused and wants to know what will it take to make this woman happy. He wants to try, but he warns he is tried of breaking up and making up. He finally admits, If we can not get it together, we are through.

If you are breaking up just to turn around days later and makeup with your ex again and over again, you may want to learn how to solve your issues. Sure you may have fine time making up with your ex, but it can be deceiving. This time stop the game before you waste more time and emotion breaking up and making up.

First work on pin pointing what exactly you are unhappy about that caused the fight and the breakup. Most of the time our hidden beliefs about relationships and family life are directing our thoughts and actions towards one another. Maybe you are expecting too much out of the relationship early on, or you have definite ideas of what a man should know and do.

My father knew how to fix anything around the house. Now anytime my husband could not fix something, I became disappointed. I was judging my husband by what I believed the man of the house should know how to do. Although my father had great skills, I had to look at my husband with unique eyes. Yes, maybe he could not fix the kitchen sink, but he could fix our computer a skill my father did not have.

Take a look at your beliefs. Dig into yourself to find out what you really think about love and your boyfriend. Ask yourself these questions and write down what comes first to mind. What do you expect from this relationship? Do you want to get married now, when? Does he know your intentions?

I wish my boyfriend would help me...

I love it when my boyfriend is...

I would like for him to stop...

I hate when he... His family values are...

You will find the answer for your cycle of breaking up and making up. After you discover your weak areas in your relationship, discuss this with your boyfriend. See how much you can agree on and what needs to be changed. He may love you dearly, but that does not mean he can read your mind and know exactly everything that it will take to make you happy.

Have him give you some insight in the things that he is concerned about. Make up a plan to work through these things together so you do not breakup to make up again and again without solving the problem. Once you move on passed your issues you can begin to develop a solid relationship with values that will last a life time and stop you from breaking up again.